Migraine – When Pain is a Problem
in Intimate Relationships

October 30th, 2011 – Issue #008 – Intimate Relationships

Physical – Emotional – Intellectual – Social – Spiritual – Financial

Editors Note: I don’t know how your migraines affect your intimate relationships but I have come to realize that my personal approach to dealing with my pain has a ripple effect into my close relationships. Here are some helpful tips to help maintain and nurture your intimate relationships by changing how you manage your pain. These are easy to do - keep reading ...

You may or may not have had the migraines at the start or your marriage or intimate relationship but you have most likely experienced significant changes due to them being in your life. These changes might look like increased responsibility of your spouse or partner to do more around the house or earn more money to make up for your short falls. There may have been reduced social activities or feelings of helplessness while your main focus has been on surviving your pain episodes.

Migraines create wear and tear on a relationship – there is no doubt about that. Common signs according to the book Manage Your Pain by Drs Nicholas, Malloy, Tonkin and Beeston are: spending less time together, jealousy at the partners freedom and socializing, resentment at increased work load, more arguments about: responsibilities, children’s discipline, finances, and doubts about sexual attractiveness.

Let’s face it – migraines have an impact on our sex lives. I might just be speaking for myself here....but the nausea well it just doesn’t go well with increased jiggy jiggy! And depending on your medications, some can decrease your libido. The experts say that sexual difficulties are more related to relationship issues and not functional issues of performance or technique. Here are six of the twelve points that the authors of Manage your Pain list as helpful to address the underlying issues:

1. Include your spouse or partner - give them a small list of things to do that are helpful whilst you are out of commission with your migraine. For example – get hot water bottle, be quiet, let me sleep – do not disturb unless absolutely necessary, feed the kids, etc.

2. Try not to talk about your pain all the time - try not to groan and complain. It can wear down others nerves. Remember they have no idea what you are going through and some people will never be able to relate.

3. Acknowledge your partners support - thank him or her for whatever they do for you around your migraines. Have an appreciation conversation once a week. Yes – once a week spend 10 minutes telling them what exactly you appreciated ...be specific.

4. Manage your pain - the best you can. Form a strategy – develop a plan. This website has all the information you need to do this bit.

5. Plan to take time together - initiate having fun, and having sex, don’t always wait for your partner to bring up the issues. Make time for ROMANCE. Give some energy back to your relationship away from all the obligations.

6. Talk as openly as possible - around sex and about any problems that might be developing. Don’t blame, just try to work on possible solutions. This might be awkward to start with, but with time, you will see that it gets easier. Stay tuned to the website there will be more on this part.

The truth is that many of us feel angry and irritated when we are in pain and others say things we don’t agree with or do things that make us think our pain is only imaginary. It can be frustrating this migraine condition. Be gentle with yourself and your partner. Remember they love you dearly and want to help. Practice using kind words with yourself and with them. Give your intimate relationship quality time between migraine attacks. Help them to remember that they are important to you too!

Do you have a question you’d like to ask the editor on this topic? If so please click here to Contact Me. I will respond as soon as possible.

This is a safe forum to express your troubles – tell your story – show your art - find solutions with new ideas - and get professional health advice . Just click on the links underlined above if you would like to contribute.

Remember that your contribution will help others too! We are not in this alone, even though it feels like it most of the time. Our stories and input can help each other.

My Question to You

Do your migraines impact on your intimate relationships? What is/was your solution? We’d love to hear from you. Click here to tell us.

Please click here if you’d like to see any of the books I’ve referred to or used throughout the website. Or come and visit my Pain Relief Store to see the products I use.

This Tip is Almost Too Easy!

The best way I know to help support and maintain relationships in your family during a migraine attack is ...

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And before I forget!

Please send this to your friends and family. It’s time to spread the word about Migraines and educate our loved ones! They can click on this link to subscribe as well.

Talk to you next month, until then, I wish you many Migraine FREE days.