Note to Self
Be Kind and Gentle!

January 2012 – Issue 11 – Relationship with Self

Physical – Emotional – Intellectual – Social – Spiritual – Financial

Editors Note: When you have a migraine what do you say to yourself? When you can feel the attack coming what do you think and how do you treat yourself? Do you push yourself to keep working or to drive to pick up the kids? Is it the push and crash (vomit) cycle? Or are you able to be kind and gentle? Here are some helpful tips to help you choose to be kind and gentle and find some new ways to manage your pain episodes. If it sounds a little tricky - keep reading ...

Some of the best tips I have read to date, and I’ve read every book I could get my hands on, was Migraines for Dummies . They are basic and clear and highlighted a few areas I just did not give much notice to.

They say that “you may not like the way you feel and act during the drugged aftermath of a migraine anymore than you do during its onset”. I am / was ashamed of my extreme mood swings, my anger and impatience and overall irritability. One page deals with the negative statements that we might make to ourselves as migraine sufferers and how to change them. I thought these were important enough to highlight too:

1. I constantly let everyone down.

2. My children must wish they had another mother.

3. My husband deserves to be married to a healthy fun person, not migraine headache me.

4. I hate asking people to do things for me all the time.

5. I want to slap my partner when he says “cheer up” or “you’ll be right” or “get over it” (Australian terms).

Consider catching your thoughts and changing them to something more positive like this:

1. I can meet my obligations, and take care of others needs when I am feeling good; I just need to take care of myself too sometimes when I have a migraine.

2. My children love me and wish I didn’t get migraines.

3. My husband loves me and wishes I did not get migraines. We have lots of good times together. Everyone has a set back now and then.

4. I am always doing things for my family, they don’t mind helping me when I need it.

5. I will breathe and think before I speak. I know it’s hard for people that just don’t understand. They are hurt that I can’t spend time with them too.

Let’s face it - migraines make our lives unpredictable and make us unreliable. Feeling guilty or giving yourself a hard time just does not help. Become a kind and gentle teacher to yourself.

The other thing I’d like to highlight about forming a relationship with yourself is to slow down and tune in every day and pay attention to what your body might be saying or needing. I have recently discovered focusing and will write a page later - but for now – I’d like to mention just how important the connection to our body is.

Where is play in your life?

It is just as important as work. Most treatment plans say to set aside three times a week to play. I struggle with this one. They also recommend laughing as much as possible. Another difficult task when one spends 20 days each month in migraine.

So right now, go write it down in your diary. Pick the three days and the times of day that you can fit in play. Go ahead....schedule it in - now is a good time to plan to play. I have 3 lists – active play, gentle play and quiet play. On the lists I have other categories for time things take – 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, and 2 hours. That way I can schedule things in each week according to time available to help keep my balance, variety and fun.

If this sounds impossible - try just spending 10 minutes having fun each day - it will energize you. For example – dance around with your MP3 player to just one song. A song is only a few minutes long and will bring you instant joy. “Dance like no one is watching”. More on this later.....

Do you have a question you’d like to ask the editor on this topic? If so please click here to Contact Me. I will respond as soon as possible.

This is a safe forum to express your troubles – tell your story – show your art - find solutions with new ideas - and get professional health advice . Just click on the links underlined above if you would like to contribute.

Remember that your contribution will help others too! We are not in this alone, even though it feels like it most of the time. Our stories and input can help each other.

My Question to You

How have your migraines affected your relationship to yourself? We’d love to hear from you. Click here to tell us.

Please click here to visit the Migraine Savvy pain relief store, with all the products I use in one place.

As above, so below!

What are you doing to sustain joy and hope in your life? How does spirituality fit in with such excruciating pain? Is it a disconnection from the spiritual that got us here in the first place?

If you’ve missed an issue click here to read the back issues.

And before I forget!

Please send this to your friends and family. It’s time to spread the word about Migraines and educate our loved ones! They can click on this link to subscribe as well.

Talk to you next month, until then, I wish you many Migraine FREE days.